Wednesday, April 14, 2010
Flower to Flower: Those So-Called "Male Freedoms"
What's this about, "male freedoms?" When a dating relationship goes "inside-out" it becomes sexual. Another phrase, "sexual favors," describes a guy's twisted successful effort to get more than just hugs and kisses behind closed doors. "Male freedom" becomes a code word for some really irresponsible guy behavior.
However, that's not to suggest gals can't or aren't responsible to initiate this kind of "sharing." When, for example, she decides to offer her "favors" in a bid to keep him around longer, she may predictably succeed at making that happen--for a while. But lots of experience (and good research) says his presence will be predictably short-term. And what happens to the relationship? While he (and she) may (?) enjoy the sexual fireworks, there's often an obvious and abrupt change--a decline--in the overall relational dynamics. Going "inside-out" often predicts a relationship's "the end"--the very thing she probably didn't want to see happen.
Historically, women have taken most all the risks when a relationships turn "inside out." It's an age-old complaint, "The guy just walked away; she took all the risks!" Pregnancy, children to care for, financial uncertainties? It's been a prescription for heart ache; bitter pills swallowed oh so often by many women. Then, (as I mentioned briefly in the previous blog) in a bid to offer as much sexual adventure and pleasure as possible for BOTH sexes, the newest Western cultural efforts have focused to bring miracle tools of 21st Century technology to grant women the same "freedoms" the guys have historically (albeit irresponsibly) possessed. Note that the emphasis is on "freedoms," generally dismissing any appropriate responsibility-taking or developing any ethical muscle on the part of either sex. The new cultural mantra appears to have become, "It's the freedoms, stupid!"
Again, as I mentioned previously, a woman's relational wiring tends to demand the very things this newly acclaimed "freedom" unwittingly denigrates: relational stability, security, commitment, warmth, and interpersonal sharing with sustained friendship. And where are those things found? In a committed marriage and family relationship! Interestingly, too, what factors best predict the long-term emotional and physical health of men: relational stability, security, commitment, warmth, and interpersonal sharing with respect in a sustained friendship. Coincidental? Hardly.
But there's more: the "inside-out" dynamics can get frustratingly scary, too. People can't just turn them off and on like water from a faucet. The more frequently dating partners "share favors" this way the less likely the participants will be to ever find a "satisfying committed relationship." That's a proven fact!
So why are loud, persuasive voices in Western culture aggressively marketing the very things so destructive to male health, female health and marital health? Three reasons come to mind: Money, Politics, and Moral Corruption seasoned with stupidity.
But, YOU can ignore those marketing efforts--dodge a potentially fatal personal and relationship bullet with a Smarter Romance. You have everything to gain and nothing to lose!
Until next time be safe...have fun...and be SMARTER!