Thursday, January 12, 2012
"...just tickling the frogs..."
That "tickling the frogs" phrase was used by a young female celebrity in a recent interview I heard. It was her reference to all the one night stands she's doing on her way to someday finding "Mr. Right." Her implication was, of course, that her many sexual experiences--her "promiscuity"--will eventually lead her to the "right guy."
I believe she's got good intentions. Her response was a friendly, spontaneous statement made in a very impromptu T.V. interview format. She gave her viewing audience a glimpse "behind the curtain" into her personalized plan for finding her "Mr. Right."
Clearly, the West's 21st Century's Romance Development "plan" for finding and enjoying a mutually committed relationship doesn't offer a Gold Medal recipe. If there's any type of protocol for the process and spirit behind today's behavior it may be well-defined in phrases like, "If it seems right...do it," "To each his own," "Practice makes perfect," "Whatever floats your boat," "Different strokes for different folks," or, "Just makin' my way as best I can," etc.
But do you, like me, find it curious that THE process for finding a durable, satisfying relationship with the opposite sex is a mystery? We get the distinct impression that finding a mate is a new and recent phenomenon--something so new that we've not yet figured it out completely. Sure, I agree that the "opposite sex" is typically viewed mysteriously by it's counterpart, but that's not what we're talking about here. The implied assumption in all this is that there is no proven, fail-safe perspective or process for lovers to find real confidence or security in the courtship--it's an every man or woman for herself situation.
OK, I can understand why and how that kind of thinking might be necessary on the deck of the sinking Titanic, but it makes no sense when we're discussing an issue that's part of the bedrock of civilizations, of marriage, family, and of cultures in general. This is stuff that's been unquestionably common experience for a long, long time. So, let's get real! The actual reason we're told finding our "Mr or Mrs. Right" is a 21st Century mystery process lies in the fact that "forces in our society" actually want it that way." Mystery in dating and romance serves some personal, commercial, political, or institutional purpose; somebody benefits from the inherent confusion!
Do you remember how the Wizard's "power" was broken in the movie, The Wizard of Oz? Take a lesson from the movie, then don't allow yourself to be fooled. There is no mystery when it comes down to an appropriate protocol for finding your own Mr. or Mrs Right. An adventure? Yes. A quest? Certainly. But must it be a mystery---NO!
The simple tools, insights, and skills in Smarter Romance are all you'll need or want--"frog tickling" is not required. So, whether you're casually dating or you're completely serious to find a committed, durable, mutually satisfying and happy relationship, there are some comparatively simple and time-proven means to make it happen for you.
So, what are your thoughts and questions?
...and until next time have fun, be safe, and be smart!